Dont make me wait honey...

Its pathetic how your heart never moves on.
stupid little heart, its just stuck.
no matter how hard and how long you try to unfreeze
your heart, nothing can thaw at it.

I know heart break doesnt kill you,
and someone said time will heal your heart,
but why cant he just leave me alone.
Maybe then that, saying would be true.
and i wouldnt have to wonder maybe he does.
or he doesnt.

i dont know why, but it just hit me today.
that maybe you aren't good for me,
no matter how sweet you are to me now.
its never going to be enough for me, for you
it might.

i dont know, this is just crap.
i just had to blab about this.

maybe instead i'd better tell him.
if only i didnt fear losing him...... again.
but wait, i dont even have him.

4 months into 2009, and alot has changed already.

So far this year, i've been quite the loner. I've grown more independent, I use to hate going places alone, i always needed someone with me, but now, I would rather be alone.
Now this whole independence wasn't by choice, I have very few friends, because many aren't friends, more like acquaintances. I have one best friend whom i tell EVERYTHING too, but he hasn't been around lately because he has a girlfriend. Im not one to complain, but i shall now, when you call someone your best friend, your sister or brother that god never actually gave you, well that is supposed to mean something, not just be forgotten the second your best friend thinks they have fallen in love. Its a shame when after just a few months they'd rather put the girlfriend/boyfriend as #1 priority. And thats my complaint!

Also this year, I've dedicated myself more to my studies, been a bit more stressed out, but i know in the end, it pays off, because i like looking at those A's on my exams. I also started reading more scientific journals and reading up on Diabetes mellitus, Diabetes type 1, some day there is going to be a cure, but we just need those close minded people whom are against stem cell research to just step aside and let the scientist do their work. We are not trying to CREATE life we are just simply trying to SAVE lives.

Ok thats enough ranting for one morning.

Concert hopping...

so this year ive been quite the umm concert/show hopper.
Not bad for barely going to my first concert last year in January, it was the FOO FIGHTERS @ The Forum. Looooved them..

This year i've gone to small shows is what i would call them. Not big concert venue types, more like small places like, glass house, the roxy, and yeah the jimmy kimmel outdoor performance. Hey its only March, so theres tons more to come. Im excited that Incubus is finally going on tour.

So these are my mini concerts so far for 2009:

Moving Units & The Knux @ the glass house 1/24/2009

The Knux


Chris Cornell @ Jimmy Kimmel Live Outdoor concert 3/10/09


I got to meet him after the show, hes a sweetheart, i got his autograph. Its soo funny how the girls are like screaming at him in his face, you could tell he doesnt like that. haha so i didnt scream, im not a screamer anyways. haha



Nico Vega @ The Roxy 3/14/09
they put on a great live show. they are on tour with the Von Bondies. I was too busy singing along to them i forgot to take a picture :(, dang!

LENT!

RE-CAP:
Today, i became a Jo Bro Hoe, thanks to brigitte.
She forced me to wear their shirt and necklace. After I took her to watch that 3D Jonas Bro movie.
I must say, i am a little ashamed to admit, buuuuut, i actually liked th movie. And i find my self singing "Im hooooooooot, your cooooold" hahaha. DANG!
Oh and i befriended a little 8 yr old girl, who taught is her, Apple Fry Dance.


Okee, so back to "LENT" so i've decided to stay away from my space, haha, yes thats healthy, 40 days no my space. gives me plenty more time to study for my bio practicals, and exams.
Buuuut, i need something else to give up? but what i dont know? since my friend bee said that i need to give up something else other than mp.
This is hard, seeing as i don't drink soda, or eat candy. well, i can give up junk food, such as chips, cookies, etc.. ooooooooh cursing? im curse like a sailor. alright. i'll try that too.
dang that one is going to be hard. well, here go 40 Days!!!

The Can't Haves, and The Wants.

Why is it that the things we want most in life, we CAN NOT have. We seriously fuck up our own lives like this. Then we complain how sad, and miserable we are, WELL we bring it upon ourselves.

My little tramp[hah you know who you are] brought this article [i guess it was], to my attention.
About as to why girls, are absolutely head over heels with these guys we classify as "jerks".
And you know what, its damn true, because again it goes back to what we can't have, we like to torture ourselves, instead of going for the "good guys", I admit I am at fault on this one too, more than once. I still can not exactly figure out why the attraction is much stronger.
Ok, here is another funny thing, once we actually have what we want, we just do not want it anymore, hahah fuck, we are CRAZY!!!

as of now, i have given up MY wants & can't haves.
The days are not long enough to waste my time, whining, bitching, moaning,
over a man, whom i would be getting no where with, right?

Have you ever played chicken with a freight train...

I HAVE :)
around 1 am, HOT summer night, walking back to my dorm with a friend. We hear the train coming, i had the sudden urge to just stand on the rail road tracks. Of course my friend kept walking and realized i wasnt behind him anymore. He turns to find me just standing there, at first he freaked out. Once he saw the look on my face, he knew i was just being ME, a little adventurous with a lot of crazy

I dont exactly remember what i was thinking anyways, just that i didnt want to go back to the dorms yet!!! He joined me, and we waited for the train to get close enough, but also far enough for us to jump. Yes the train WON! If i weighed a ton and some then i'd go head to head with the train but, i wasnt feeling that heavy or lucky that night. haha..

nucken futs. i always forget i have this thing

Im back. I doubt anyone reads this, but this thing keeps me sane, so im fine if no one else reads it :)
It is the start of my spring semester, and i must say it is going to be a tough semester. This first week was the shittiest EVER. I got a parking ticket, i saw an ex-boyfriend. I also havent had much sleep, i just cant.

Valentines also came and went. It was quite an eventful day, glad its over. Oh i also got a flat tire and now i have to pay for 4 brand spankin' new wheels. I met the funniest tow truck driver, Kilo, he use to 'rasso with with the kids because he always told them "yo momma"

This is just a pointless blog, i guess a collection of random thoughts, i needed to write down.
anywho, im finally heading to bed. Im hoping that tomorrow i'll be able to remember i have this blog spot crap. So i can rant some more and all that good stuff.

Thanks little tramp for reminding me.
the hacking was worth it i guess?